Is Something Missing From Your Wedding?

By Deborah Wilson Smart
Stay Focused Magazine Summer 2014 Issue

She sat down to plan her wedding. It was going to be a simple gathering of family and friends. They held the wedding at the local Justice of the Peace. It was a civil ceremony, which only required a marriage license and bride and groom. It was over in a matter of minutes. The couple heard no mention of God, or spiritual advice about godly unions. What they received at the end was well wishes and she received a can opener from the Justice of the Peace.

Later, she met the man of her dreams. She planned her wedding, “this time” keeping in mind it would be an interfaith ceremony. He was Caucasian and Jewish; she was Black and Baptist. She found a Rabbi who did interfaith weddings. They held the wedding at their apartment on a rainy Friday afternoon. They stood under a traditional canopy called “the huppah” which symbolizes the new home that the couple will create. No one mentioned any New Testament teachings of Christ. There was no sharing of Ephesians 5 or 1 Corinthians, the love scripture, during the wedding message. The ceremony ended, the huppah was removed and the couple began their life together.

She finally found the right man. He saved her from an abusive marriage. He became her crisis center. He filled her weekends with fun and excitement. They planned to honeymoon in Hawaii. She purchased Fodor’s Hawaii and decided to research weddings. She found weddings were big business throughout Hawaii. She settled on a wedding by the pool of the photographers. A Chinese Minister married them, with the photographer and his wife and two macaws as witnesses. Neither her Mother nor Father attended. There were no family and friends. The Minister did share 1 Corinthians 13; it seemed like the perfect wedding in paradise.

These three different weddings had something in common. The minute the relationships became intense, wedding plans began. There was no preparation of the bride and groom as to what God’s plans for marriage was. They got Genesis 2:24 right; “for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” However, they failed to see the big picture. These marriages were not in the exact image that God purposed. None who officiated the wedding admonished the bride and groom to follow God’s Blueprint for Marriage Relationships in Ephesians 5.

God lays out his marriage plans for Christians and Non-Christians in the following scriptures. (Scripture Verses: Genesis 2:18-25; Mark 19:5, Mark 10:7-8, and Ephesians 5:31) These scripture verses reinforce that God wants a husband and wife to make their relationship the number one priority of their lives. No one should come between them except God.

In the first marriage, the groom’s life desire was not to be a husband and father, but a police officer. Seven years of their marriage he spent hours upon hours serving the community, putting his life on the line. This is a noble thing to do, but not at the expense of the marriage relationship. In the second marriage, partying and entertaining friends, and lusting after the good life was the priority. However, during this marriage, the bride desired to “get right with God”. Her Baptist upbringing pulled at her heart and her desire to have a relationship with Jesus created a wedge in their marriage. He did not share the same desire. He continued to drink and was jealous of his wife’s desire to reconnect with her religion. Scripture says, “Be not unequally yoked.” The physical and emotional abuse was the result of “being unequally yoked”.

In the third marriage, she and the groom has settled into marriage and eventually added church attendance to their lives. It was short lived because again it was the bride’s desire to have the relationship with Jesus. Raised under different tenants the groom could not understand her desires to attend church and bible study. Even though unequally yoked, her relationship with Christ kept the marriage together until his death 20 years later.

Do not build your marriage foundation on sand, without God’s blueprint for marriage. Adding this blueprint to your wedding plans gives your marriage a firm foundation to build a lasting relationship. You have a chance to withstand outside distractions and interactions, which will come to whittle away at your relationship. Wedding plans should bring you into a relationship with God, not only a relationship between man and woman.